Some Seriously Important Life Lessons from Chimamanda’s Wellesley Speech

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Photo credit: Chimamanda.com

In this article, I explore some of Chimamanda's  ideas from her 2015 Wellesley address.
Original Photo from Chimamanda.com


1. Your standardized ideologies will not always fit your life because life is messy.
In my opinion, this means we should learn to take life has it comes. There are many things in life we cannot control, so we should not try to mend the world to fit our ideals.
For example, you cannot always win. That is, going by the mainstream understanding of what winning means.
A lawyer can argue as best as he can but the court might not rule in his favour.
A doctor can try everything to save a patient’s life and that patient might still die.
Hence we must be willing to change our beliefs about everything.
Make your ideologies your own. Give your own meaning to things; to winning for example.  Perhaps, something that justifies the efforts you put into the work you do; without the need for external validation.


2. We cannot always bend the world into the shapes we want, but we can try.

It is impossible to change the world into something you want because there are other occupants on this planet who might want something different. Whether you consider them good or bad people, the fact is they are as entitled to this planet as you are.
But you should try to make the world a better place. This is about all of us, on a daily basis making those tiny decisions to do better.
Nobody is perfect and Nigeria is not perfect either (sighs; I am understating here). However, we must try. 


3. Vulnerability is a human trait.

I feel a lot of us struggle with the idea of vulnerability.  I struggle with vulnerability too.
But I have learned that:
Vulnerability is not confession: Telling strangers about your life is not the way to go. Damn straight, people can use your words to their advantage.
Vulnerability is not weakness; it is courage. Undertaking something daunting, knowing that it can potentially fail, is being vulnerable.
Vulnerability is being honest with yourself. It is about having the courage to face your own reality.
Vulnerability and trust are closely linked. You share those hard feelings with people you trust. And trust is built over time.

4. Think about what really matters to you.

I would say that you need to think a lot about this. It is a personal inquiry and it requires you to be vulnerable with yourself. There are no wrong answers here.
After doing this exercise, I realized that what matters to me the most is writing. For me, what matters is having something that has the potential to outlive me.

5. There are people who would like you (the real you)

I no longer live my life hoping to please people; that is manipulation.
I just live my life allowing my values to guide me. Human relationships are complicated but I believe whatever way you lead your life, there would be people that align with your ideals and want to relate with you. Those are the people you need in your life because they will drive you to become more of what you already are.
It is important though that you figure out who you really are. Otherwise, you will attract people that should not even be in your life.
Thanks for reading. If you came across something that resonated with you. Let me know. Leave a comment. Be vulnerable.
Bye.


-Tobi Amokeodo

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