HOW TO LIVE WHOLEHEARTEDLY IN 2021

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My biggest challenge is being able to live life fully; being able to experience life and make decisions without fear of what people will think about my choices. I'm referring to this idea of living on one's terms. 

You might be asking why I care about what other people think about me. The truth is that to a considerable extent. I don't care, but I also understand that my choices could affect how much support I get back from society. The term social influence refers to the ways in which we alter our behavior according to the demands of society and society actually rewards conformity. 

For example, an openly queer person in Nigeria risks being jailed or being a victim of hate-related crimes.  The need for conformity is also the reason an individual wearing dreadlocks or having a visible tattoo is perceived as a criminal by the Nigeria Police. 

So for me, to live on my terms is being able to pursue the things I love without someone noting that I'm being too much, doing too much, or being weird. Although, I also find myself secretly criticizing people engrossed in the things they are passionate about. 

Furthermore, living on my own terms will not guarantee that I will be happy. 

 I think we've been sold this idea of utopia; of constantly being in a beautiful mental state. In short, I too find the idea of constant happiness alluring. However, I have learned that pursuing this idea could be mentally stressful. 

I have experienced happiness, anxiety, sadness, pain, and joy and I have come to the conclusion that to live life fully is to simply live life.  To rejoice in the good times and to feel however we deem, when things are tough. To have the courage to live through our storms (rather than ending our lives) and to play after every storm. To make peace with who we are and to constantly self reflect. Above all, to live life fully is to try to be ourselves, especially if by so doing, we stand to gain more than lose 

Happy New year, everyone. 

-Tobi  Amokeodo 


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