BLOOM AND GROW

How do you get started on a continuous learning journey? You decide to make learning a part of your life going forward.  Knowledge is a fundamental resource in our lives and usually, the more we can gather and apply new knowledge, the better we are. For me, it's beyond just acquiring degrees. Acquiring new degrees will push you to a certain point, don't get me wrong, however, what really counts is being able to apply what we learn. So, continuous learning is important whatever job you work. My sister who is a fashion designer ( here ) is a prime example:  She has completed an enterprise course at Lagos Business School,  Has participated in several International fellowships, Has a diploma in merchandising from London School of Fashion and Design,   Has completed several marketing courses (fellowships) on Facebook,  And is currently engaged in two business programs.  Again, whatever your occupation, continuous learning is key However, learning is expensi...

When it comes to learning, I think  audio-visuals are just as important as print media. I use Youtube mainly for entertainment but I know it's also a fantastic platform for learning. Here are my five go-to Youtube channels for all things relating to personal development  1. School of Life: This channel shares content bordering on maturing emotionally, developing relationships, dealing with anxiety issues, and so on.  It's basically cartoon illustrated content with a voice-over. Also, what's being shared is so insightful that I'm sure it's based on a lot of literature research.  2. Matt D'Avella:   Actually, in a world where so many motivational speakers tell us, "you just have to do it...remember why you started... (rolls eyes). It's always refreshing to find someone who just says calm down.  I love Matt's content because it is witty and relatable. He focuses on minimalism and uses that to teach important lessons on work, family, and lifestyle.  3. ...

A while ago, I was part of a mentoring session with Ms. Folake Odediran, the General Manager for the pharmaceutical company, Sanofi Nigeria, Ghana. And as she took her seat to start her session, She looked around the table and said, "I want you all to remember this: you learn to cut trees by cutting trees. " She went on to explain that performing a task over and over again, makes us better at doing that task in the Long run.  However cliche, the truth is that Practice makes perfect.  For example,  I try to read some of my old articles sometimes and I sincerely can't believe how awful they are. For real. Over time and through practice,  I've been able to find my own writing voice and I know for sure that I am better at writing now than I was, a few years ago.  I also remember clearly when my sister first started out as a fashion designer. For a while, the only thing she could make by herself was an A-line skirt and a bustier top. But now, her fashion brand can pr...

I can't overemphasize the importance of learning. The fact is that knowledge will open doors for you.  I love to learn by reading books (especially non-fiction books), by observing other people, and by taking courses (I love certificates)  I have interacted with so many successful people and what I know for sure is that we (hehe, had to include myself in the pronoun) all share an interest in learning.  If you don't enjoy reading books, you could watch or listen to educational videos or podcasts respectively. What's important is that you are gaining new knowledge.  There are actually so many options to choose from (who knew?) but here are a few good places to look at first.  1. Coursera:  The free courses cover health care, the arts, finance, and technology. I found a few courses that I liked and I believe I would be completing at least one of them in the coming weeks. I would share a review of that process after I am done.  2. LinkedIn Learning. ...

A few years ago, I did a styling gig for a major boutique brand in Lagos and it flopped! The next day I couldn't get out of bed because I could not believe how bad I messed up.   After that incident, I took a break from fashion styling for about six months. I would have quit for good if not for my fashion designer sister who asked me to style her summer collection a few months later. The summer collection went on to be a hit and I've continued styling since then.  We have all experienced setbacks before. At work, at home, and in our various relationships. I've had my fair share as well.  However, being unable to accept the fact that something unbecoming happened to us, is the worst thing we can do to ourselves.  No one is promised a life free of adversity or challenges. So being in denial of our shortcomings would prevent us from growing. Looking back, I realize that I couldn't deal with the embarrassment of failing even after I had taken responsibility for my w...

1. According to  Gustavo Razzetti  of Physchologytoday.com, "everything in life has a beginning and an ending. You don't need to continue rehashing your past to keep it alive. Make peace with the end, especially if it was ugly, and move on." 2. Stop playing the victim because that mentality will keep you stuck. Instead, let that experience propel you forward. You can always make lemonade when life hands you lemons.  3. Recognize our human imperfections. Everyone is flawed in some type of way so expect people to mess up some times 4. Make sure the past does not repeat itself.  "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time". Regardless of the pain or disappointment of the past, you should still be courageous enough to venture into social relationships again. However, be careful so that you are not repeatedly being hurt by the same person. 5. Have the courage to speak up. When someone does something you don't like, be upfront about it, otherwi...

Learning to be independent is a continuous process for me. And I am broadly referring to independence as it relates to the various parts of our lives. You can be very independent at work and this might not necessarily be the case on the home front. It's important to know that if there is no one around you, you can take care of yourself.  Emotional independence is important because when it comes to dating, you have to be a whole person without someone else being around you. You must be able to enjoy your own company. That way you can ask yourself important questions like why is this person in my life?  So, what I am highlighting here is the fact that our relationships have to go beyond the mindset of "so that they wouldn't say I don't have anybody" Financial independence is being able to meet your needs. It really does not matter how much you earn. What matters is that you are not at the mercy of money.  Relying on other people excessively can be detrimental to our...

This story started the day I became body aware. I realized that my chest was no longer flat and I walked up to my dad to ask why I was growing fat around that area. He said it was nothing.  Well, that "nothing" ended up impacting the choices I made socially throughout my teen years and my young adult life. But this story is actually not about my lipomastia (man-boobs is the colloquial term) but about how we must take ownership and accountability for our bodies.  To me, taking ownership means:  1.  Having a realistic expectation of how much I can achieve in terms of weight loss and building muscle given the time and energy I am willing to put in. For anybody struggling to lose weight, you know it takes a considerable amount of effort and time. I have to face the reality that having six-pack abs is likely not going to be sustainable for me and that's OK.  2. Realizing that I don't have to worry so much about the way I look. People talk about loving yourself b...

I believe that these days, a lot more Nigerians are taking their lives, and unfortunately, this issue is not getting enough attention.  On one hand,  the idea of taking one's life seems like a convenient way to put an end to suffering. Furthermore,  it seems that vulnerable people are being triggered to kill themselves due to the popularity of suicide news these days. On the other hand, we are not giving it enough attention because we are all too busy dealing with the social and economic difficulties of living in Nigeria.  I think that for anybody going through some life difficulty or a mental health problem, suicide seems like a convenient way to end their suffering whatever that suffering is; economic hardship, marital problems, deep personal regrets, financial crises, loneliness, or even shame. For people dealing with depression, thoughts of suicide occur frequently. I also believe that the media coverage of suicide stories is contributing to the problem. I came a...

I've lived in Lagos most of my life but I'm not sure I would ever get used to the craziness of this city. Here's a note a few years old from my private journal:    If I am to offer some explanation for my mood, I would say today I had gone through all kinds of emotions and stress before eventually getting to work. And I am already scared of the traffic going home and it's not even noon. When did Lagos become this sort of crazy city? It has surely never been this tedious. "May Lagos be good to you" is a valid prayer. What's surprising these years later is that I still feel the same way about driving in Lagos. Obviously, the best tip for avoiding traffic is to stay at home. But that's not always practical for most of us who work outside the home.  So, besides setting off for work at the wee hours of the day (which I don't do because I like my sleep) and waiting out the traffic in the evenings, I have been able to reduce the time I spend in traffic by...

"There is a way to be good again" is one of my favorite quotes to date and it's from the book The Kite Runner which I highly recommend that you read. The quote essentially means that we can always get back on track no matter how far we have gone off the tracks.  In the kite runner, Amir witnesses his housekeeper's son Hassan get raped over a kite. Soon, he starts to develop guilt for not intervening in the incident and resorts to framing Hassan's father for theft in order to get him fired from his job as their housekeeper- his plans work.  Soon after, Amir's family flees to the United States due to the Insurgency in their country. Many years later, he finds out that Hassan was actually his half brother! By this time, Hassan has been killed by the same boy (now a terrorist leader) who raped him as a child, and the same terrorist leader is now serially molesting Hassan's surviving heir.  As an act of redemption,  Amir decides to go back to Pakistan to rescue...

I want to believe many of us have been here. You engage in some very questionable activity and you say to yourself, "I can't believe I just did that" and then you start to feel guilty because it goes against all of the things you believe in.   For example, you decide to be celibate till marriage but you end up sleeping with a guy or girl you just met. Or you find yourself bribing your way out of a situation when everyone knows you to be someone of integrity.  Well, rather than dwell in guilt, the first thing to do is to examine why you did what you did! Sometimes stressors in one area of our lives show up in other areas. Sometimes we do these things out of curiosity; it's us questioning the tribal and cultural beliefs we were raised with.   After you have figured out why you did it, you should examine why you are feeling guilty. Are you feeling guilty because you are struggling to understand why what you did was wrong? Or are you feeling guilty because you know ...

It is important to belong to a tribe. That is a group of people who have similar views on a subject and with whom you can have great conversations. As much as I believe in self-sufficiency and in developing one's individuality, I know that each one of us wants to feel like we are a part of some community.  And having this belief is important because life can be really challenging and somehow, knowing that there are other people on the same boat as you, can be a source of comfort.  We live in a society where people avoid sharing their feelings or problems because they are afraid their secrets or issues will be used against them. Despite this, we should still seek out safe spaces to share our issues with others. Even if we don't open up, I have learned that just being with people sharing experiences that you can relate with, can leave you feeling less isolated.   There's a lot I have to share about finding your tribe but the most important point is to find a group of p...

I promise you, this is a serious article. I love music and I understand that music influences the way we lead our lives whether we believe it or not. I love Beyonce's music and I appreciate the fact that she pays a lot of attention to the artistry of her videos. Here are life lessons from 5 of my most played Beyonce songs ever! 1. Party (Beyonce ft. J.Cole)  This is my TGIF song. The visuals depict being with friends and having a good time. It is important to know how to balance work and leisure and I've come to understand that productivity levels are higher when we give some time to play. City life can be isolating and stressful. So here's a reminder to be socially engaged and to have a strong social support system. 2. Dejavu ft. Jay-Z It's a high energy video. There is a dance movement in almost every frame of the video. And this is where I highlight the importance of exercise in keeping us strong and healthy. There's a strong correlation between length of life an...

  I usually start my year with a vision board. A vision board contains images of things I would like to have in my life. This might include images of people I aspire to be like, inspiring quotes that resonate with me, and places I would love to visit. I think that the first step to setting successful goals is having dreams. Also, you need to believe that you are capable of achieving those dreams Before setting goals, I make sure I have the tools I need to achieve those goals.  For example, if I am to set a goal to travel to Cape Verde for vacation, then I must have the means to do so. In essence, your dreams need to be practical and attainable within the current level of resources you have available. So I set goals based on the money, time, and skill I have to invest in achieving those goals.  Also, I try to figure out how to achieve a goal before setting off.  You might not have a blueprint but you need to know how to get to your destination.  For many years, I...

As a child, I was not one of the cool kids at school. I didn't play sports nor walk with a swagger. Instead, I was one of the goofy musical club ones (like the characters in Glee).  Things didn't change when I got to the university and I often worried about not being "cool enough". Over the years, I have learned a few things about becoming my own person and building my self-worth.  Self-worth is about the value you put on yourself. It's not always about your job or how much money you earn. Rather it's about how you are leading your life and being aware of the reasons for your actions. It's being honest with yourself and working to improve in areas where you might be deficient. At some point in my life,  I thought my worth was tied to how much I could make other people think of me as a good person. But that made me secretly bitter because I kept enduring people's trespasses.  Things changed when I started to pay more attention to myself by exploring my ...

There's a Yoruba saying that translates loosely to, "Lagos money always lives in Lagos". That is, whatever money you make while in Lagos, you'd end up spending while living in Lagos.  I was raised by an Ijebu woman so I guess that's the reason I'm so prudent with my spending. However, I see a lot of people, including those who make good enough money, struggle with their finances.  I, on the other hand, can save for Africa! People show off their lavish lifestyles on social media and I'm observing a trend where people just want to amass money and buy things. But certain principles in personal finance are universal like,  1. Thrift shopping I sometimes shop at the second-hand clothes market in Lagos especially for items like sportswear. The idea is not about buying second-hand clothing, It's realizing that not all the items in your wardrobe need to be expensive. That's why you see billionaires wearing T-shirts that cost less than a dollar.  Obviously,...