BLOOM AND GROW

This story started the day I became body aware. I realized that my chest was no longer flat and I walked up to my dad to ask why I was growing fat around that area. He said it was nothing.  Well, that "nothing" ended up impacting the choices I made socially throughout my teen years and my young adult life. But this story is actually not about my lipomastia (man-boobs is the colloquial term) but about how we must take ownership and accountability for our bodies.  To me, taking ownership means:  1.  Having a realistic expectation of how much I can achieve in terms of weight loss and building muscle given the time and energy I am willing to put in. For anybody struggling to lose weight, you know it takes a considerable amount of effort and time. I have to face the reality that having six-pack abs is likely not going to be sustainable for me and that's OK.  2. Realizing that I don't have to worry so much about the way I look. People talk about loving yourself but I'll

I believe that these days, a lot more Nigerians are taking their lives, and unfortunately, this issue is not getting enough attention.  On one hand,  the idea of taking one's life seems like a convenient way to put an end to suffering. Furthermore,  it seems that vulnerable people are being triggered to kill themselves due to the popularity of suicide news these days. On the other hand, we are not giving it enough attention because we are all too busy dealing with the social and economic difficulties of living in Nigeria.  I think that for anybody going through some life difficulty or a mental health problem, suicide seems like a convenient way to end their suffering whatever that suffering is; economic hardship, marital problems, deep personal regrets, financial crises, loneliness, or even shame. For people dealing with depression, thoughts of suicide occur frequently. I also believe that the media coverage of suicide stories is contributing to the problem. I came across this idea

I've lived in Lagos most of my life but I'm not sure I would ever get used to the craziness of this city. Here's a note a few years old from my private journal:    If I am to offer some explanation for my mood, I would say today I had gone through all kinds of emotions and stress before eventually getting to work. And I am already scared of the traffic going home and it's not even noon. When did Lagos become this sort of crazy city? It has surely never been this tedious. "May Lagos be good to you" is a valid prayer. What's surprising these years later is that I still feel the same way about driving in Lagos. Obviously, the best tip for avoiding traffic is to stay at home. But that's not always practical for most of us who work outside the home.  So, besides setting off for work at the wee hours of the day (which I don't do because I like my sleep) and waiting out the traffic in the evenings, I have been able to reduce the time I spend in traffic by

"There is a way to be good again" is one of my favorite quotes to date and it's from the book The Kite Runner which I highly recommend that you read. The quote essentially means that we can always get back on track no matter how far we have gone off the tracks.  In the kite runner, Amir witnesses his housekeeper's son Hassan get raped over a kite. Soon, he starts to develop guilt for not intervening in the incident and resorts to framing Hassan's father for theft in order to get him fired from his job as their housekeeper- his plans work.  Soon after, Amir's family flees to the United States due to the Insurgency in their country. Many years later, he finds out that Hassan was actually his half brother! By this time, Hassan has been killed by the same boy (now a terrorist leader) who raped him as a child, and the same terrorist leader is now serially molesting Hassan's surviving heir.  As an act of redemption,  Amir decides to go back to Pakistan to rescue

I want to believe many of us have been here. You engage in some very questionable activity and you say to yourself, "I can't believe I just did that" and then you start to feel guilty because it goes against all of the things you believe in.   For example, you decide to be celibate till marriage but you end up sleeping with a guy or girl you just met. Or you find yourself bribing your way out of a situation when everyone knows you to be someone of integrity.  Well, rather than dwell in guilt, the first thing to do is to examine why you did what you did! Sometimes stressors in one area of our lives show up in other areas. Sometimes we do these things out of curiosity; it's us questioning the tribal and cultural beliefs we were raised with.   After you have figured out why you did it, you should examine why you are feeling guilty. Are you feeling guilty because you are struggling to understand why what you did was wrong? Or are you feeling guilty because you know it was

It is important to belong to a tribe. That is a group of people who have similar views on a subject and with whom you can have great conversations. As much as I believe in self-sufficiency and in developing one's individuality, I know that each one of us wants to feel like we are a part of some community.  And having this belief is important because life can be really challenging and somehow, knowing that there are other people on the same boat as you, can be a source of comfort.  We live in a society where people avoid sharing their feelings or problems because they are afraid their secrets or issues will be used against them. Despite this, we should still seek out safe spaces to share our issues with others. Even if we don't open up, I have learned that just being with people sharing experiences that you can relate with, can leave you feeling less isolated.   There's a lot I have to share about finding your tribe but the most important point is to find a group of people y

I promise you, this is a serious article. I love music and I understand that music influences the way we lead our lives whether we believe it or not. I love Beyonce's music and I appreciate the fact that she pays a lot of attention to the artistry of her videos. Here are life lessons from 5 of my most played Beyonce songs ever! 1. Party (Beyonce ft. J.Cole)  This is my TGIF song. The visuals depict being with friends and having a good time. It is important to know how to balance work and leisure and I've come to understand that productivity levels are higher when we give some time to play. City life can be isolating and stressful. So here's a reminder to be socially engaged and to have a strong social support system. 2. Dejavu ft. Jay-Z It's a high energy video. There is a dance movement in almost every frame of the video. And this is where I highlight the importance of exercise in keeping us strong and healthy. There's a strong correlation between length of life an

  I usually start my year with a vision board. A vision board contains images of things I would like to have in my life. This might include images of people I aspire to be like, inspiring quotes that resonate with me, and places I would love to visit. I think that the first step to setting successful goals is having dreams. Also, you need to believe that you are capable of achieving those dreams Before setting goals, I make sure I have the tools I need to achieve those goals.  For example, if I am to set a goal to travel to Cape Verde for vacation, then I must have the means to do so. In essence, your dreams need to be practical and attainable within the current level of resources you have available. So I set goals based on the money, time, and skill I have to invest in achieving those goals.  Also, I try to figure out how to achieve a goal before setting off.  You might not have a blueprint but you need to know how to get to your destination.  For many years, I set new year goals to l

As a child, I was not one of the cool kids at school. I didn't play sports nor walk with a swagger. Instead, I was one of the goofy musical club ones (like the characters in Glee).  Things didn't change when I got to the university and I often worried about not being "cool enough". Over the years, I have learned a few things about becoming my own person and building my self-worth.  Self-worth is about the value you put on yourself. It's not always about your job or how much money you earn. Rather it's about how you are leading your life and being aware of the reasons for your actions. It's being honest with yourself and working to improve in areas where you might be deficient. At some point in my life,  I thought my worth was tied to how much I could make other people think of me as a good person. But that made me secretly bitter because I kept enduring people's trespasses.  Things changed when I started to pay more attention to myself by exploring my

There's a Yoruba saying that translates loosely to, "Lagos money always lives in Lagos". That is, whatever money you make while in Lagos, you'd end up spending while living in Lagos.  I was raised by an Ijebu woman so I guess that's the reason I'm so prudent with my spending. However, I see a lot of people, including those who make good enough money, struggle with their finances.  I, on the other hand, can save for Africa! People show off their lavish lifestyles on social media and I'm observing a trend where people just want to amass money and buy things. But certain principles in personal finance are universal like,  1. Thrift shopping I sometimes shop at the second-hand clothes market in Lagos especially for items like sportswear. The idea is not about buying second-hand clothing, It's realizing that not all the items in your wardrobe need to be expensive. That's why you see billionaires wearing T-shirts that cost less than a dollar.  Obviously,

I decided to focus on entrepreneurship studies for my MBA because it was the most relatable subject for me, of all the areas I had to choose from. Regardless, I had no intention of practicing entrepreneurship after my studies. In fact, to tell the truth, after semesters of studying accounting, marketing, and business law, I just wanted something easier to learn. But after obtaining that almighty MBA in entrepreneurship, people started asking me why I had chosen the subject over finance or marketing; so I decided to start a small business selling kitchen-use products and water bottles. The enterprise was named “Tiny PreciousThings” . The idea was to curate a collection of home use items. Things like gas lighters, water bottles, and thermos flasks. I started exploring the Lagos Island market (precisely the market called “Corudum”) for these items.   The unique feature of this market is that you can find products that are “one of a kind”.   That is items that you wouldn’t readily

"Confront the brutal facts but never lose hope."  I first came across this quote while reading Good to Great by Jim Collins and it means to face our truth but remain optimistic. It's about facing what makes us uncomfortable but having faith despite. The reality of death is one of those topics we are very uncomfortable with. However, I feel that we need to live our lives purposely because it is finite.  We need to appreciate that life is such a remarkable gift and that wherever we are in the spectrum of bliss, we are OK because we are alive. When we fall on hard times, it might be tempting to commit suicide because we are trying to escape our pain. But the actual way to escape pain is to understand that life is never about us.  The real purpose of life is service and I know this for sure because everyone is a beneficiary of someone else's service. And everything we do matters to the perfect stranger. Life is about being present. Not worrying about tomorrow and not regr

You only have one life and until yours is full and running over, you can't really give your best to others.  Self-care is not about being productive.  It's just about being present, feeling yo ur senses, and taking a break. I have curated 25 great ideas for self-care and I've even adopted a few already; highlighted in bold text. Enjoy   1. Wake up without using an Alarm clock this week.  2. Donate some time to charity 3. Dance to your favorite tunes 4. Doodle  5. Watch the clouds early in the morning before the sun gets hot.  6. Complete a task you've been putting away and savor completing the task.  7. Unfollow (or mute)  negative people from your social media 8. Take a 10-minute power nap 9. Order a home spa.  10. Focus on being in the present moment for 10 minutes 11. Listen to inspiring podcasts or watch an inspiring video on Youtube 12. Stretch for 20 minutes.  13. Mimick your favorite celebrity and record a video of yourself doing it.  14. Change your bedsheets ea

We work really hard in order to live well and take care of our loved ones. Some people say that money burns the pocket. That is, money is always hot and never enough. But I think that we can lead meaningful lives with the money we have while we work towards having more.  I constantly live on a budget. It's just my nature regardless of how much I earn. Over the years, I have learned a thing or two about maximizing my income. If you earn 100k or less per month in Lagos, the following tips will guide you well.  1. Divide Your Salary into Portions:  In my opinion, fifty percent (50%) of your income should go into living expenses and this should include housing, transport, electricity, groceries, and other expenses related to keeping your work-life in motion. Then twenty 25% should go into meeting your lifestyle needs in terms of health, fitness, fashion, dining, and holidays. Budget another twenty percent (20%)  for savings and  5% (five percent) towards an educational fund.  So: 50%: 

CB has been my friend for the last 15 years. In my blog post about how I become a B student after years of being dubbed "not very bright" , I mentioned someone who made me study for my finals amidst having a tummy bug and a high-grade fever. CB was that person. Thanks to her, I passed my  Bachelor of Pharmacy finals in the first sitting. So, In this interview, CB shares some of her tips for academic and personal success as well as the great work she's been doing with hypertensive patients across Nigeria.   Tobi: Hi CB...How are you doing? Cb: I'm doing very well. Thank you Tobi: Thank you for joining this series. So let's get on the subject of achieving personal and academic success. I know you had a distinction in both your undergraduate degree and your postgrad degree. However, take us back to your childhood. Were you always shining academically? Cb: I'd say yes. I've always been a straight-A student. (laughs). Throughout primary school, I bagged tons a

Prototyping is about executing your ideas by producing samples for testing. You then apply whatever results you get from testing to produce an updated prototype or version which would go through a new cycle of testing and adjustments. You might need to go through several cycles before you achieve a product good enough for marketing. I know prototyping is synonymous with the tech industry but it's actually a business-wide principle.  We all have big dreams. But to achieve your dreams, you must take action; and prototyping is like taking baby steps. Even if you fail, you will learn your lessons and try again. For example, I have had so many blogs that are no longer in existence today. But the truth is that each new blog is an improvement on the last unsuccessful one. In the last few years of prototyping as a blogger, I have improved my writing style and learned about niche blogging.    Whatever your dreams are, start working on them. Your first result does not need to be perfect and