BLOOM AND GROW

Sometimes, when I  close my eyes, I see you. I'm wary not to hold your image for too long for fear that you might actually show up in my bedroom. Even though you were my friend, I'm still terrified of ghosts.   I left a comment on your last Instagram post which was regarding the ongoing protests against police brutality, ENDSARS,  To be honest, I didn't read the caption. The image showed clenched fists and bullet holes, it was loud enough.  There were other comments regarding your demise and I had to delete many of the things I wrote to ensure I  didn't come across as overzealous. After all, our friendship was electronic.  I  said I was going to pay you a visit. I say this to a lot of other people too. My aunt thinks I'm keeping a grudge because I haven't visited her in almost two years despite the fact that her house is a 20-minute drive from my place. I swear I'm not a bad person, I just find it easier not to do much on weekends.  I wonder ...

  Frankly, many Nigerians still live in this country because they have limited options. Those with means, either live abroad permanently or live here to do business.  Of course, we have such lovely weather and our culture is great and diverse. However,  beyond that, we are seriously lagging behind. Nigerians are very intelligent people and little wonder we shine so bright in the diaspora where the opportunities to do so are available. Today is not the day to hype Nigeria as the place second to none; where milk and honey flows. Today is about doing something to prevent our corrupt leaders from eating up this country-because I'm telling you, they will eat this entire country up. Today is about speaking out!  1. We are speaking out against government officials allocating social infrastructure projects to themselves through sham companies.  2. We are speaking out against civil servants at every level demanding kickbacks from contractors.  3. We are speaking out...

Engaging with a few underground artists and being a new blogger, I now have an appreciation for people who have been able to achieve a certain level of success as a result of harnessing their gifts and abilities.  The talent market is so crowded that I know for sure that it takes a lot of hard work to be noticed.  This might be why a lot of people give up on their big ideas. However, I know for sure that if you keep working on your dreams, you will strike gold. Being on this journey as well, here are a few things about monetizing your gifts, that I have learned so far:  1. Talent is not enough. Sometimes your gift is also a curse because it is not enough to make you successful. You also need the right belief and a ton of courage.  2. Regular practice is important. You have to perfect your craft. The more you practice, hopefully, the more you know what works and what doesn't. Talent is also a skill, it becomes better with use.  You should check out my other artic...

I know for sure that to be the best that I can be, I need to be in an environment that supports my growth!  Take plants, for example, they need adequate soil nutrients, water, and sunlight to grow. No matter your potential, you need the right system to bloom.  Now, insert Nigeria. Do you think that the Nigerian system can adequately support your growth? No.  I'm not anti-Nigeria, but we also need to address the fact that Nigeria needs to do better for all of us citizens.  So, what should Nigeria be?  However, maybe the right question to ask is, what shouldn't Nigeria be?  1. It should not be a country where a young girl standing at the bus-stop gets shot by a policeman accidentally. Tina  Ezekwe was shot by a policeman who was trying to arrest a driver for  breaking the law.  2. It should not be a country where a young girl is brutally murdered inside a church building while studying for exams. That happened to Vera Omozuwa.  3. It shoul...

I've come to the conclusion that the ideas I sit on for the longest periods of time are those I don't really believe in.  I mean, I could come up with the excuse of not having enough time to do all the things I have to do, but I also know that if something is that important to me, I would make time to do it. Many of us sit on ideas for so long and every now and then, we day-dream about our wonderful ideas. We just dream. However, until we actually decide to work on our dreams, we are going to remain dreamers. Dreaming is actually expensive bullsh*t. Have you ever sat across some old guy talking about the dreams he never pursued? These kinds of people make me very uncomfortable because when they talk, what I hear are stories of lives they didn't live, stories of things that could have been but never came to be. I can't overemphasize the importance of chasing the things we dream about.  I know it's easier to dream than to do, because that way, failing is not a possibi...

 The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is pick up my phone and check my social media feed. I know this is a bad habit because so many self-help gurus say it is. I also know that social media can have a negative impact on you especially when you use it as a yardstick for your life.  It is always difficult to compare favorably to those you see on screen who always seem to have their sh*t together all the time. I mean you open Instagram and you sink into a sea of beautiful flawless skin, sexy bodies, and big ass lifestyles. On the professional side, you have LinkedIn with everyone on there trying to show off their latest award. "Hey look at me, I just graduated from Harvard!".  After a few minutes of scrolling through my feed, I remind myself that the way to achieve anything in life is by doing (action) and not by looking at others. So I get up and I do my business.  The reality is that I might never achieve the lives of those I admire on social media and t...

 Recently, I came across a post on social media about stinginess being a person's unwillingness to spend money on the things that could push their lives forward, and that insight was mind-blowing for me. Many of us have dysfunctional relationships with money. While some can't seem to keep money at all, others like me have a hard time spending it.  It is important to think of money as a tool to push your life forward and I have made this a commitment, personally.  For example. I always make sure I have internet data for GPS navigation while driving to and fro work. I used to think that buying data for this purpose was expensive but I now see that using GoogleMaps saves me a lot of the time that I would otherwise spend in traffic.  I'm also carrying this mindset over to my work as a blogger especially in terms of promoting my posts on Twitter to reach more people. No matter how talented you are, it's very important to be seen.  So, again, money is a tool. You don'...

I have a playlist of inspiring podcasts and the likes that I listen to every morning while getting ready for work.  I particularly like Evan Carmichael , a YouTuber who mashes up talks from different successful people regarding a particular area of self-development. Evan has content on almost every area; courage, belief, discipline, you name it.  So I start off my day listening to people like Oprah, Warren Buffet, and Mel Robbins, and I have observed that listening to these people helps me become more productive and less anxious throughout the day.   It is often said that a person's mindset is largely influenced by the people they spend most of their time with, so  I believe it is important for us to spend time daily listening to positive things because our thoughts inspire our actions, which eventually determine the kind of life we lead.  Keeping it simple today. Have a great time and please share this post with friends. Bless.  P.S:  If you are ...

She is one of the most successful figures in new media in this part of the world and to put it simply, Linda Ikeji is rich! To celebrate her 40th birthday, Linda decided to buy herself 85 shoes, 35 handbags, and a new automobile. I know a lot of people are probably saying she should have put the money to better use by helping the less privileged,  but honestly, I  think that she deserves to spend her hard-earned money, the way she sees fit.  I also think it's important for us to learn how to  use our good stuff.   We should have a balance between saving for later and spending in the present. Constantly delaying gratification is like saving great sex for old age. See! That does not make sense. It's also important to remember that with social media, fame is very important. Not discounting that her blog rakes in millions of Naira daily but doing stuff like this will make her more money one way or another.  Lastly, she said it herself, we should not be rec...

  It's no doubt that a lot of us are products of our environments. Our backgrounds shape the way we think and the things we believe in. What I know for sure is that we keep passing beliefs from one generation to the next without examining those beliefs to know whether they should be passed on or quenched.   I'm at that point in my life where I need to examine my beliefs and amend some, so that they work for me, going forward. I'll just share a few and I encourage you to do this exercise as well.  1. Not Having the Things My Parents Didn't Have.  A lot of us say that we want to have better lives than what our parents had, but subconsciously we resist change. We didn't have air conditioning units in our apartment growing up. We considered it to be an ostentatious buy.  "Only rich people use AC in their house" was something often said around the house. Now looking back, I see that we were actually well off enough to afford it. 2. My Parents Never Went Abroad....

Every time I have to spend my money, I think,  "Ye, I'm going to go broke before my next paycheck." And being broke is a real fear for me because I lived through that experience growing up.  As a student, I was a broke a$$ nigga. My mum who was separated from my dad was responsible for raising the 4 of us and her resources were limited.  Coming out of that university experience into work life, it's been tough learning how to spend the money I earn. For those people who squander everything they earn, it's a shame because that's a thoughtless way to live life. But for those of us struggling with guilt after spending our hard-earned money or those too frugal to even spend on themselves, these are a few tips for spending guilt-free.  1. You Only Live Once (YOLO).  You are going to die someday; and it could be any day; you don't know. So remember to enjoy your life while you still have it.  2. Enjoy the Phase of Life that You Are in Right Now.    If yo...

Trading is an excellent side hustle and if you live in Lagos Nigeria, the opportunities are endless. Here are a few places to shop for items for your online business.  Ojota Chemical Market:  1. What are side hustlers shopping for? Perfume oils . Those small bottled oils you buy via Instagram for 1000 Naira and above (laughs),  you don't want to know how much they cost at the market.  Bulk Sanitizers for resale . This is illegal because the products have not gone through NAFDAC approval.  Plastic bottles, jars, and other packaging containers : Which you can resell to other entrepreneurs.   Skincare ingredients. But you'd need some training before you go into the skincare trade.  Paint: This is by far the most fascinating for me. I love the fact that there are vendors that produce quality house paint at a better price than what you will find at the paint stores. I personally made some satin paint for my room and I am in love with the results. ...

This article was inspired by a discussion I had with a friend recently. He had bought a motorcycle for someone on a hire purchase agreement. Well, needless to say, the transaction ended in premium tears. So briefly, I will discuss why the transportation or logistics business is a No for most working-class Nigerians looking to invest their income and other money mistakes I see a lot of new earners making.  1. Transportation business:  It is difficult to find drivers or riders with integrity to hire. My dad did this business full-time for 20 years so I saw close-up the difficulties in receiving the agreed remittances from the drivers.  Be prepared for the usual excuses: police exhortation, traffic jams, and so on. So, this is not the sort of investment for anyone who is fully engaged at a tasking 9-5. You need time to monitor the riders closely and you need to be very street smart to engage these guys. However, I  agree that the logistics business is huge at the momen...

How do you get started on a continuous learning journey? You decide to make learning a part of your life going forward.  Knowledge is a fundamental resource in our lives and usually, the more we can gather and apply new knowledge, the better we are. For me, it's beyond just acquiring degrees. Acquiring new degrees will push you to a certain point, don't get me wrong, however, what really counts is being able to apply what we learn. So, continuous learning is important whatever job you work. My sister who is a fashion designer ( here ) is a prime example:  She has completed an enterprise course at Lagos Business School,  Has participated in several International fellowships, Has a diploma in merchandising from London School of Fashion and Design,   Has completed several marketing courses (fellowships) on Facebook,  And is currently engaged in two business programs.  Again, whatever your occupation, continuous learning is key However, learning is expensi...

When it comes to learning, I think  audio-visuals are just as important as print media. I use Youtube mainly for entertainment but I know it's also a fantastic platform for learning. Here are my five go-to Youtube channels for all things relating to personal development  1. School of Life: This channel shares content bordering on maturing emotionally, developing relationships, dealing with anxiety issues, and so on.  It's basically cartoon illustrated content with a voice-over. Also, what's being shared is so insightful that I'm sure it's based on a lot of literature research.  2. Matt D'Avella:   Actually, in a world where so many motivational speakers tell us, "you just have to do it...remember why you started... (rolls eyes). It's always refreshing to find someone who just says calm down.  I love Matt's content because it is witty and relatable. He focuses on minimalism and uses that to teach important lessons on work, family, and lifestyle.  3. ...

A while ago, I was part of a mentoring session with Ms. Folake Odediran, the General Manager for the pharmaceutical company, Sanofi Nigeria, Ghana. And as she took her seat to start her session, She looked around the table and said, "I want you all to remember this: you learn to cut trees by cutting trees. " She went on to explain that performing a task over and over again, makes us better at doing that task in the Long run.  However cliche, the truth is that Practice makes perfect.  For example,  I try to read some of my old articles sometimes and I sincerely can't believe how awful they are. For real. Over time and through practice,  I've been able to find my own writing voice and I know for sure that I am better at writing now than I was, a few years ago.  I also remember clearly when my sister first started out as a fashion designer. For a while, the only thing she could make by herself was an A-line skirt and a bustier top. But now, her fashion brand can pr...

I can't overemphasize the importance of learning. The fact is that knowledge will open doors for you.  I love to learn by reading books (especially non-fiction books), by observing other people, and by taking courses (I love certificates)  I have interacted with so many successful people and what I know for sure is that we (hehe, had to include myself in the pronoun) all share an interest in learning.  If you don't enjoy reading books, you could watch or listen to educational videos or podcasts respectively. What's important is that you are gaining new knowledge.  There are actually so many options to choose from (who knew?) but here are a few good places to look at first.  1. Coursera:  The free courses cover health care, the arts, finance, and technology. I found a few courses that I liked and I believe I would be completing at least one of them in the coming weeks. I would share a review of that process after I am done.  2. LinkedIn Learning. ...

A few years ago, I did a styling gig for a major boutique brand in Lagos and it flopped! The next day I couldn't get out of bed because I could not believe how bad I messed up.   After that incident, I took a break from fashion styling for about six months. I would have quit for good if not for my fashion designer sister who asked me to style her summer collection a few months later. The summer collection went on to be a hit and I've continued styling since then.  We have all experienced setbacks before. At work, at home, and in our various relationships. I've had my fair share as well.  However, being unable to accept the fact that something unbecoming happened to us, is the worst thing we can do to ourselves.  No one is promised a life free of adversity or challenges. So being in denial of our shortcomings would prevent us from growing. Looking back, I realize that I couldn't deal with the embarrassment of failing even after I had taken responsibility for my w...

1. According to  Gustavo Razzetti  of Physchologytoday.com, "everything in life has a beginning and an ending. You don't need to continue rehashing your past to keep it alive. Make peace with the end, especially if it was ugly, and move on." 2. Stop playing the victim because that mentality will keep you stuck. Instead, let that experience propel you forward. You can always make lemonade when life hands you lemons.  3. Recognize our human imperfections. Everyone is flawed in some type of way so expect people to mess up some times 4. Make sure the past does not repeat itself.  "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time". Regardless of the pain or disappointment of the past, you should still be courageous enough to venture into social relationships again. However, be careful so that you are not repeatedly being hurt by the same person. 5. Have the courage to speak up. When someone does something you don't like, be upfront about it, otherwi...

Learning to be independent is a continuous process for me. And I am broadly referring to independence as it relates to the various parts of our lives. You can be very independent at work and this might not necessarily be the case on the home front. It's important to know that if there is no one around you, you can take care of yourself.  Emotional independence is important because when it comes to dating, you have to be a whole person without someone else being around you. You must be able to enjoy your own company. That way you can ask yourself important questions like why is this person in my life?  So, what I am highlighting here is the fact that our relationships have to go beyond the mindset of "so that they wouldn't say I don't have anybody" Financial independence is being able to meet your needs. It really does not matter how much you earn. What matters is that you are not at the mercy of money.  Relying on other people excessively can be detrimental to our...

This story started the day I became body aware. I realized that my chest was no longer flat and I walked up to my dad to ask why I was growing fat around that area. He said it was nothing.  Well, that "nothing" ended up impacting the choices I made socially throughout my teen years and my young adult life. But this story is actually not about my lipomastia (man-boobs is the colloquial term) but about how we must take ownership and accountability for our bodies.  To me, taking ownership means:  1.  Having a realistic expectation of how much I can achieve in terms of weight loss and building muscle given the time and energy I am willing to put in. For anybody struggling to lose weight, you know it takes a considerable amount of effort and time. I have to face the reality that having six-pack abs is likely not going to be sustainable for me and that's OK.  2. Realizing that I don't have to worry so much about the way I look. People talk about loving yourself b...

I believe that these days, a lot more Nigerians are taking their lives, and unfortunately, this issue is not getting enough attention.  On one hand,  the idea of taking one's life seems like a convenient way to put an end to suffering. Furthermore,  it seems that vulnerable people are being triggered to kill themselves due to the popularity of suicide news these days. On the other hand, we are not giving it enough attention because we are all too busy dealing with the social and economic difficulties of living in Nigeria.  I think that for anybody going through some life difficulty or a mental health problem, suicide seems like a convenient way to end their suffering whatever that suffering is; economic hardship, marital problems, deep personal regrets, financial crises, loneliness, or even shame. For people dealing with depression, thoughts of suicide occur frequently. I also believe that the media coverage of suicide stories is contributing to the problem. I came a...