BLOOM AND GROW

  As we wrap up international women's month, I wanted to share with you two Instagram handles I frequently interact with. They are run by two very successful women who use their Instagram accounts for social good. Mrs. Tolagle Martins is a vastly experienced communication and strategy professional with a career spanning healthcare, aviation, and security while Mrs. Yeyebush-Alebiosu is a  practicing lawyer (an o ga in public service) and a U.K trained etiquette consultant.   Find out more about them below and please follow their social handles.  @tolagbedotcom She is the host of TM Grammer Ministry: a video series addressing common grammar mistakes in our everyday communication as Nigerians. Personally, I know that effective communication is important in the workplace and can sometimes be the difference between being let through a door and having someone shut the door on you. I mean, I still can't wrap my head around how many people now use "Am" instead of "I

Shonda Rhimes I have a very structured lifestyle. I go to work Mondays through Fridays and work out every weekday evening. I typically spend Saturdays cleaning up and prepping for the new week, and Sundays hanging out at a friend's place- usually the same friend's place. My life is boring, I know that.  Alexa please play me, "Cry Me a River" by Justine Timberlake.  I started to feel trapped in this lifestyle, so I reached out to a friend for support. After a one-hour-long conversation, I realized that I needed to relax and be more open. I too had my Shonda Rhimes moment and just like Shonda, I have chosen to say Yes to everything for the rest of 2021 and so far, the process has been both rewarding and scary. I said Yes to going to a party on a Sunday evening; knowing I had work the next day. The party turned out to be shit and we couldn't afford anything at the club, so we left and found a Suya spot around Falomo and ate ram Suya while we bantered till late into t

I'm a huge fan of agro-tech investments because I think increasing local food production would greatly strengthen our economy. However, agriculture is not always the safest place for anyone to put their money. Last year, I had some issues with my investments with Thrive Agric. However, the good news is that they've paid back a considerable amount and I can certainly remark that there's light at the end of the tunnel.  But just as I was recovering from that mishap with Thrive Agric, I found out that my investment with Abadini farms was in trouble.  I was introduced to Abadini farms through a private cooperative and up until 2020 everything was running smoothly with these guys. But since last year, they've defaulted in payments and have blamed this on losses they suffered due to drought. Of course, I don't know what to make of their explanations, I can only hope that my money gets paid back eventually.  But the point of sharing this information is to raise some awaren

I really love the silhouette challenge. Maybe I'm a low-key bad boy. But I know for certain that I'm not alone here. Despite the fact that the challenge has been met with so much backlash from men and women, more and more people are participating. The silhouette challenge basically involves one switching from a robe or PJ into lingerie while dancing to Paul Anka's "Put Your Head On my Shoulder". The Silhouette is created by a crimson red Snap Chat filter available on the mobile App.  Why is this challenge bursting my head?  1. It's the fact that a song from 1959 makes a come back in the year 2021! Up until yesterday, I had never heard of a Paul Anka. It's also very heartwarming that he's alive to experience all of this. And really, from the looks of Paul's website, it seems the old man is also going with the flow.  "Life is Short, Art is long" is something I say a lot. And I know for certain, that art never really goes away. It is always

Signing up for Mrs. Ibukun Awosika's "Life Series with Ibukun Awosika" was one of the most important decisions I made in 2020;  for real. It was a paid event (although just a token) and it was a birthday gift to myself. I've blogged about the insights I got from listening to the speakers that day but I had no idea that Mrs. Awosika was going to gather all the attendees into a Bootcamp and coach us for 7 weeks.  So, for almost two months over Whatsapp and Zoom, we were engaged by the Life series team: Assignments for the week (due every Wednesday, otherwise you were cut from the Bootcamp) and Sunday sessions with Mrs. Ibukun where we literally could ask any questions.  We heard from a woman who had summoned the courage to leave a good job in Lagos for studies abroad despite having a newborn, to another person, who was struggling with the fact that she had just being made appointed a leader.  There were so many aha moments for me. These were probably not the best less

  Dear Fresh Grads,  I know you might be apprehensive about what the future holds for you. Relax. Everything will be OK, eventually. You'd figure it out, including how to land your first job.  It has almost been a decade since I left Uni. and what I know for sure is that these tips below will help you get a job or get a better job. Enjoy.  1. Use Your Network or Your Extended Network.  Everywhere in the world, networking is important. In fact, it is a cardinal tool for getting your first job and climbing up the professional ladder. In my opinion, use your network but don't depend on your network. You should be looking out for people who can land you interviews or provide you information about job openings:  1. Your parents, siblings, uncles, and aunties.  2. Your former classmates from Uni.  3. Friends from the gym, volunteer organizations, and other social groups.  4. Linkedin.  2. Your grades.  Yes, your university degree matters. Most organizations will only accept applicati

  3rd January 2021. Covenant Christain Centre. Poju Oyemade   1. Give glory to God for the small things. Everything might not be perfect but everything will be OK. 2. Give the small thing you have to Jesus and he will multiply it.  3. When people say the grass is greener on the other side, it is because people watered it.  4. To effectively worship God, you need to use your imagination and your memory.  5. Whatever you see and Ignore, you authorize.  6. Inheritance (abundance) is not by many ideas. It is by one inspired idea.  7. Never forget the people that lifted you and no matter what they do later, you must never fight with you.  Confession:  This is my season of complete recovery in Jesus name I experience full restoration in 2021. 2021 is a full year for me.  God's mercy will follow me throughout 2021.  The eyes of the Lord rests upon me.  I enter into the rest of God in Jesus' name.  17 January 2021, Daystar Christain Centre. Sam Adeyemi.  1. You don't rest for sleep

Photo by  Samuel Silitonga  from  Pexels I'm always looking ahead; trying to get better and do better; and I believe there are so many young people in the world today like me who are either learning a new skill,  a new language or engaged in one educational pursuit or the other. And the side effect of always looking forward is never taking time to look to the past.  It is important to remember our wins often because they remind us that we are capable, especially when life circumstances try to tell us otherwise. Personally, I believe that when we achieve something, we move our lives forward and we must never take this fact for granted.  Most of us think of wins in terms of big achievements and to be honest, our own successes might look pale in comparison to the things we see in places like Linkedin and Instagram. However, it's really a question of personal self-worth; whether or not we believe our own wins matter, however "small" they are. So how should we measure our

My biggest challenge is being able to live life fully; being able to experience life and make decisions without fear of what people will think about my choices. I'm referring to this idea of living on one's terms.  You might be asking why I care about what other people think about me. The truth is that to a considerable extent. I don't care, but I also understand that my choices could affect how much support I get back from society. The term social influence refers to the ways in which we alter our behavior according to the demands of society and society actually rewards conformity.  For example, an openly queer person in Nigeria risks being jailed or being a victim of hate-related crimes.  The need for conformity is also the reason an individual wearing dreadlocks or having a visible tattoo is perceived as a criminal by the Nigeria Police.  So for me, to live on my terms is being able to pursue the things I love without someone noting that I'm being too much, doing too

The light bulb moment for me this year was realizing that I needed to work on my self-esteem. This realization actually came from wanting to blog about everything I did wrong this year.  And at that moment,  I was like, "wait a minute. Why am I always self-reflecting on the negative?" So, as a step in the right direction, I'm flipping that mindset over and writing about all the things I did right year-round.  1. I confronted one of my biggest fears:  I took an exam I was afraid to take. 16 years ago, I took a similar exam and I failed- and that failure marked me because I felt that I had given my best efforts. This time around I went above and beyond and I'm happy I passed. 2. I stuck to being a consistent blogger.   This year, I've written 51 articles on this blog. This one makes 52 by the way. This is more than twice everything I had written on this blog before 2020. Can you imagine!  3. I lost weight. This is almost happening by chance but I noticed that by ea

  I came across my vision board for the year and I laughed hysterically because when I was making plans for 2020, I never would have imagined a year like this.  The Covid-19 pandemic, a passenger plane being shot down,   Kobe Bryant dying in a helicopter crash alongside his young daughter, Breonna Taylor getting shot in her apartment by policemen, Ahmaud Arbery getting killed by white folks while jogging, George Floyd being choked to death by a policeman. The Black lives Matter protests.  The ENDSARS protests. The Lekki-tollgate Massacre. This year has been a lot of things.  However, despite everything that has happened and is happening, I'm grateful to be here.  I'll share lessons I learned this year in another article, but for now, this is my self-audit.                                              Family and Relationship. I hardly visited family members this year because of the pandemic. I can complain about that, but I'm happy about the fact that they are all alive and

I really want you to watch Stephen Dunier's Ted talk, How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals. That's the essence of this blog post in a nutshell.  His Ted talk is actually one of the most important items on my motivational playlist because it reminds me that putting time into work, pays off in the long run. He specifically alluded to the fact that little drops of water make a mighty ocean. That is, even if you spend little time on a task, as long as you are consistent, and you make marginal improvements over time,  you'd achieve your goal.   Again, his strategy is simple. Break down a project into small manageable tasks that you can complete in 20 minutes and once the allotted time is up, you take a break. After which you come back to do some more work which could even be on another project. That is, you work in bouts and take frequent breaks.  Not to take away from the message of this article, but the truth is that this strategy wouldn't work for everyone. Or you mig

I don't really like motivational speakers. They sometimes come across as disingenuine. Just my bias. I guess not all motivational speakers are like this. I mean, I think Mel Robbins and Toni Robbins are great (No, they are not a couple) but I also think that the self-help space is filled with so many "aspire-to-Inspire-to-Perspire" folks.  I mean people who just put words together to gas you up for nothing!  Regardless, I believe in self-development and I blog about this field based on the knowledge I have gained over the years and my own lived experience. But I don't want you to think that my life is perfect because of the things you read on my blog. I'm a work in progress.  This article is a peek into my personal life. So you know some of the things I'm struggling with and the steps I am taking to overcome them.  1. Fear of being alone.  I use the word, "alone" just because "abandoned" is such a strong word. I grew up having best friends

  A few months ago, I invested in some farm slots with Thrive Agric, one of the leading crowdfunding agro-platforms in Nigeria. The maturity date for the investment was October 1st but I'm yet to receive the payout one month after. The company has actually communicated some of the challenges that they are currently facing and I'm hopeful that I would get my money back someday. We are currently engaged via a monthly update meeting with the Interim CEO, Adia Sowho who is helping the fintech navigate the current murky waters.   But I would like to share important investment lessons from this experience:  1. I thought agro investments were insured. But it turns out that the insurance does not protect investors from liability in any way. The insurance is apparently limited to farming operations. So agro investments are just as risky as any other investment.   Right now, I'm consolidating my investments with crowdfunding platforms and re-strategizing my approach to personal fina

Sometimes, when I  close my eyes, I see you. I'm wary not to hold your image for too long for fear that you might actually show up in my bedroom. Even though you were my friend, I'm still terrified of ghosts.   I left a comment on your last Instagram post which was regarding the ongoing protests against police brutality, ENDSARS,  To be honest, I didn't read the caption. The image showed clenched fists and bullet holes, it was loud enough.  There were other comments regarding your demise and I had to delete many of the things I wrote to ensure I  didn't come across as overzealous. After all, our friendship was electronic.  I  said I was going to pay you a visit. I say this to a lot of other people too. My aunt thinks I'm keeping a grudge because I haven't visited her in almost two years despite the fact that her house is a 20-minute drive from my place. I swear I'm not a bad person, I just find it easier not to do much on weekends.  I wonder who came up with

  Frankly, many Nigerians still live in this country because they have limited options. Those with means, either live abroad permanently or live here to do business.  Of course, we have such lovely weather and our culture is great and diverse. However,  beyond that, we are seriously lagging behind. Nigerians are very intelligent people and little wonder we shine so bright in the diaspora where the opportunities to do so are available. Today is not the day to hype Nigeria as the place second to none; where milk and honey flows. Today is about doing something to prevent our corrupt leaders from eating up this country-because I'm telling you, they will eat this entire country up. Today is about speaking out!  1. We are speaking out against government officials allocating social infrastructure projects to themselves through sham companies.  2. We are speaking out against civil servants at every level demanding kickbacks from contractors.  3. We are speaking out against police brutality

Engaging with a few underground artists and being a new blogger, I now have an appreciation for people who have been able to achieve a certain level of success as a result of harnessing their gifts and abilities.  The talent market is so crowded that I know for sure that it takes a lot of hard work to be noticed.  This might be why a lot of people give up on their big ideas. However, I know for sure that if you keep working on your dreams, you will strike gold. Being on this journey as well, here are a few things about monetizing your gifts, that I have learned so far:  1. Talent is not enough. Sometimes your gift is also a curse because it is not enough to make you successful. You also need the right belief and a ton of courage.  2. Regular practice is important. You have to perfect your craft. The more you practice, hopefully, the more you know what works and what doesn't. Talent is also a skill, it becomes better with use.  You should check out my other article on practicing you

I know for sure that to be the best that I can be, I need to be in an environment that supports my growth!  Take plants, for example, they need adequate soil nutrients, water, and sunlight to grow. No matter your potential, you need the right system to bloom.  Now, insert Nigeria. Do you think that the Nigerian system can adequately support your growth? No.  I'm not anti-Nigeria, but we also need to address the fact that Nigeria needs to do better for all of us citizens.  So, what should Nigeria be?  However, maybe the right question to ask is, what shouldn't Nigeria be?  1. It should not be a country where a young girl standing at the bus-stop gets shot by a policeman accidentally. Tina  Ezekwe was shot by a policeman who was trying to arrest a driver for  breaking the law.  2. It should not be a country where a young girl is brutally murdered inside a church building while studying for exams. That happened to Vera Omozuwa.  3. It should not be a country where kidnappings are

I've come to the conclusion that the ideas I sit on for the longest periods of time are those I don't really believe in.  I mean, I could come up with the excuse of not having enough time to do all the things I have to do, but I also know that if something is that important to me, I would make time to do it. Many of us sit on ideas for so long and every now and then, we day-dream about our wonderful ideas. We just dream. However, until we actually decide to work on our dreams, we are going to remain dreamers. Dreaming is actually expensive bullsh*t. Have you ever sat across some old guy talking about the dreams he never pursued? These kinds of people make me very uncomfortable because when they talk, what I hear are stories of lives they didn't live, stories of things that could have been but never came to be. I can't overemphasize the importance of chasing the things we dream about.  I know it's easier to dream than to do, because that way, failing is not a possibi

 The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is pick up my phone and check my social media feed. I know this is a bad habit because so many self-help gurus say it is. I also know that social media can have a negative impact on you especially when you use it as a yardstick for your life.  It is always difficult to compare favorably to those you see on screen who always seem to have their sh*t together all the time. I mean you open Instagram and you sink into a sea of beautiful flawless skin, sexy bodies, and big ass lifestyles. On the professional side, you have LinkedIn with everyone on there trying to show off their latest award. "Hey look at me, I just graduated from Harvard!".  After a few minutes of scrolling through my feed, I remind myself that the way to achieve anything in life is by doing (action) and not by looking at others. So I get up and I do my business.  The reality is that I might never achieve the lives of those I admire on social media and that's

 Recently, I came across a post on social media about stinginess being a person's unwillingness to spend money on the things that could push their lives forward, and that insight was mind-blowing for me. Many of us have dysfunctional relationships with money. While some can't seem to keep money at all, others like me have a hard time spending it.  It is important to think of money as a tool to push your life forward and I have made this a commitment, personally.  For example. I always make sure I have internet data for GPS navigation while driving to and fro work. I used to think that buying data for this purpose was expensive but I now see that using GoogleMaps saves me a lot of the time that I would otherwise spend in traffic.  I'm also carrying this mindset over to my work as a blogger especially in terms of promoting my posts on Twitter to reach more people. No matter how talented you are, it's very important to be seen.  So, again, money is a tool. You don't ma

I have a playlist of inspiring podcasts and the likes that I listen to every morning while getting ready for work.  I particularly like Evan Carmichael , a YouTuber who mashes up talks from different successful people regarding a particular area of self-development. Evan has content on almost every area; courage, belief, discipline, you name it.  So I start off my day listening to people like Oprah, Warren Buffet, and Mel Robbins, and I have observed that listening to these people helps me become more productive and less anxious throughout the day.   It is often said that a person's mindset is largely influenced by the people they spend most of their time with, so  I believe it is important for us to spend time daily listening to positive things because our thoughts inspire our actions, which eventually determine the kind of life we lead.  Keeping it simple today. Have a great time and please share this post with friends. Bless.  P.S:  If you are looking to improve yourself, here&#

She is one of the most successful figures in new media in this part of the world and to put it simply, Linda Ikeji is rich! To celebrate her 40th birthday, Linda decided to buy herself 85 shoes, 35 handbags, and a new automobile. I know a lot of people are probably saying she should have put the money to better use by helping the less privileged,  but honestly, I  think that she deserves to spend her hard-earned money, the way she sees fit.  I also think it's important for us to learn how to  use our good stuff.   We should have a balance between saving for later and spending in the present. Constantly delaying gratification is like saving great sex for old age. See! That does not make sense. It's also important to remember that with social media, fame is very important. Not discounting that her blog rakes in millions of Naira daily but doing stuff like this will make her more money one way or another.  Lastly, she said it herself, we should not be reckless except we can truly

  It's no doubt that a lot of us are products of our environments. Our backgrounds shape the way we think and the things we believe in. What I know for sure is that we keep passing beliefs from one generation to the next without examining those beliefs to know whether they should be passed on or quenched.   I'm at that point in my life where I need to examine my beliefs and amend some, so that they work for me, going forward. I'll just share a few and I encourage you to do this exercise as well.  1. Not Having the Things My Parents Didn't Have.  A lot of us say that we want to have better lives than what our parents had, but subconsciously we resist change. We didn't have air conditioning units in our apartment growing up. We considered it to be an ostentatious buy.  "Only rich people use AC in their house" was something often said around the house. Now looking back, I see that we were actually well off enough to afford it. 2. My Parents Never Went Abroad.